The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
