I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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