So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
