He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
