hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
