At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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