just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Your cock deserves a montage
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
