Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im six kinds of drunk right now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
don't judge my taste in strippers
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
