I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
In America we eat man semen.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
please don't ironically join a cult
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