Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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