i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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