i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
