thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
