I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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