I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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