i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
