i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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