it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
being pregnant is like rehab
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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