my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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