I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
