there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
