I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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