I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize