i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize