pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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