fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
