Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Damn victory sex feels great
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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