Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
