remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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