I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
