i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
