chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
