I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
