I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
