As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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