So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
