Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
