she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
