jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
