Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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