Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
