i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
