YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I supernannyed him into submission
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
