Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
