waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
