the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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