i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
