Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need to calm my uterus...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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