i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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