I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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