exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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