there was a trapeze. enough said
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
