He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
