just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
