he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
