I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
