so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
