whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
