Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
