Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
