So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
