butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
