FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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