Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
